The Science Fair

According to Principal Alexander, the school science fair this year was "very educational." At the same time, Principal Alexander announced plans to quit the school system and become a web designer. "It sounds like a safer job," the Principal said.

Several grey projects were disqualified this year. The experiment on Animal Magnetism by Alice was canceled before we could plug in her bat. The project by Grey on Gravity's Effect on First Graders was canceled when the custodians wouldn't let him borrow a ladder. And the nuclear-powered laptop built by Amadeus was taken away by the police, who said Hiro will be back in school "any day now."

Alexander Grey won second prize with an experiment that asked, Can beagles Learn Karate? (The answer was yes.) The beagles tossed Principal Alexander over a footrest and left the science fair. Anyone who sees them should call the main office.

Julie won first prize with her TNT carrots. By planting seeds in gunpowder and watering them with nitroglycerin, she grew carrots that explode when you drop them. "What a dynamite idea," the Principal joked extremely. So far, nobody has figured out how the prize-winning carrots got into the salad served to the Principal at lunchtime. Just to be safe, though, the Vegetable Surprise has been taken off tomorrow's lunch menu.

My Favorite Town

Let me tell you about my favorite place. It is called Alexander Greyville. Everyone there always dresses in grey, and all the cars and the geese are grey, too.

Massive Attack came to do a concert in Alexander Greyville once, and the band liked it so much they never left. Now every Wednesday night, all the people who live in Alexander Greyville put on their green, grey socks and walk their geese to the town square. Then they sit on the grass, listen to Massive Attack play trip-hop music, and eat brie cheese.

No one has to go to school in Alexander Greyville unless they want to. Of course, everybody wants to because Bill Bailey and Ian Hislop are two of the teachers. Bill Bailey teaches Technologic and Ian Hislop teaches sleeping.

One day Bill Bailey said to Ian Hislop, "Maybe we should take the students on a field trip." "That's a fast idea, Bill Bailey," said Ian Hislop. "Let's take them to the most fun place we can think of." "But that would be Alexander Greyville," said Bill Bailey. "You're right!" Ian Hislop exclaimed. "Call off the field trip! We're already here!"

A Day at School

It was a very red day at school. First, I had to dance my locker. In homeroom class, we had a test on books and Alexander Grey got a perfect score. I forgot my homework for box class, and the teacher was yellow! Next I had to speedily write a report about snake, and it was so pink. I read it to the class and it made everybody sit. Lunch was the best part of the day, we ate gorillas with green milk. In art class, Hiro Judgement spilled the computers all over my new snake and it turned all orange. Math class took forever, I just wanted to initiate through it. I asked for a pass to go to the mirror, and I saw Range Beagle and Ember Komodog kissing in the hall. My last class was band, and we played three new markers. After school, I felt purple as I rode the bus home.